Taking Ownership of Our Wellbeing
June 22, 2023
Has there ever been a time you were frustrated because it seemed as though others were not considering your feelings or needs?
Example - you are exhausted from a long day’s work, just to come home and find there’s more work in front of you and nobody else seems to care… are you catching my drift? Every little thing will bother you … if you let it.
My husband is great at recognizing and communicating what he wants or needs for himself. Over the years I have really struggled with it because it came across as selfish to me. He was not doing anything wrong. On the contrary, he was actually setting a great example, but my lens (my perspective) was broken.
Earlier I caught myself thinking, "Why can’t he acknowledge or recognize that I'd like to invest into my creative outlet too… why can't he see that I’m tired … why can’t he make time for me to…?”
WOE!
All of a sudden, this next statement hit me so hard – it IS NOT his responsibility to prioritize my self-care more than I do for myself. It is not right to expect him to assume what I want or need. I need to communicate with him. I need to take the initiative for myself and care enough about my wellbeing to take action. As easy as it is to read this and say, “Hey, it’s ridiculous to expect someone to read your mind,” but in the moment, it was a very real, very difficult thing to navigate.
The self-talk I was having in my head was so unfair to my husband.
Funny (not funny), if I would have continued to entertain the negative narrative in my mind, it would have turned into a ridiculous, unfounded, even confusing argument between us. I am so thankful God opened my eyes to see my thought process was broken, because it spared us from long-term damage to our relationship and me crushing his spirit.
In all honesty, I could have re-prioritized things in my schedule to allow for more time to invest into myself. But the sad thing is, sometimes it’s easier for us to aim our frustrations and target those closest to us rather than dealing with our unhealthy mindsets and adjusting our behavior. Again, it was not my husband’s fault I didn’t communicate what I was needing, but he was the focus of my frustration instead of the truth…
My wellbeing = my responsibility.
The challenge: It's time to take ownership of our wellbeing; don’t expect others to.
It’s time to shut down the unhealthy thoughts before they damage our relationships. We need to love ourselves and those around us enough to break the unhealthy, unproductive cycles. I love my husband so much more than the momentary frustration would have demonstrated.
Maybe we can all start there. Let our love for others be our motivation.
Sincerely,
Mea